Monthly Archives: June 2014

What I learnt this week: Let’s backtrack

This week was all about going back to square one.

(NB I’m slowly catching up on bloggy!)

I was working on a script recently and I kept hitting road blocks.  This was due to a few character issues.  To fix these problems I needed to dig deeper and head back to beginning.  A place where I didn’t want to go.

It was painful in more ways than one but completely necessary.  Sometimes you have to go backwards in order to move forwards.

Other than that my week was spent writing, researching (which basically consisted of watching a bunch of films that relate to the tone of my script) and working, pretty standard.

Oh apart from being in bed sick for three days straight with what I think was a version of the black plague.  On the plus side I was able to get loads of writing done!

Oh, oh and I had drinks with Kamila my old manager on Monday night, it was nice to catch up after sooo long.

Oh, oh, oh and dinner with Jess on Thursday.  Went to the ‘Castle’- which is our local.  Shared a nice bottle of Italian wine and tapas.  We also discovered the worlds best brownies!

Owww, and I did head to the ‘Chatty’ on Sunday night with Jess and Zoe for a steak and a couple of bevies.  Then danced the night away.  And kissed a very cute boy from Kiwi land.  Walked home with the girls, stopping for ice cream on the way.

What a nice end to the week 🙂

Me and Jess

Funniest moment:

  • Watching ‘Never been kissed,’  I never realised how good that film was!

What I did that scared me:

  • Didn’t change my T-shirt for 3 days when I was ill…believe me that was scary!

Highs:

  • Girly catch ups
  • Finishing my new script sequence outline
  • Kissing a Kiwi

Lows:

  • Plague
  • Plague
  • Plague

What I learnt:

  • Sometimes you have to go backwards in order to move forwards!

 

 

What I learnt this week: Thanks for your opinion but…

I’ll start back to front this week.  Due to the fact the weekend was one of the best of my life!  (Please note still a little behind on the blogalog)!

Drinks for Indu’s Birthday at Gordon’s (the oldest wine bar in London)- tasted a  very nice pinot noir, amusingly named- ‘Fat Bastard’.   That was a fun drink to order!  Met Indu’s circle of lovely friends.

In particular I had a great chat with Mike, who’s one of Indu’s writing/producing buddies I’ve met via email (ah the strange world we live in).    It was nice to put a face to a name.  He’s very inspirational and motivational.  Mike made me set a goal for the first draft of my feature script.  I sent him a work plan for the next 2 months, now I gotta sick to it!

Saturday I wrote (already sticking to the plan).

That night I went to the Katy Perry concert with Nadelle and Diana.  I have no words other than AMAZING!  I already loved Katy Perry but seeing her perform with all her heart and soul made me love her all the more.  Everyone in the audience was dancing- kids, teenagers, us, even the 50 plus guy beside me!  You couldn’t not be happy!

Sunday morning I wrote again.

That afternoon I met Nadelle, Jess, Diana, Cass and Heather for the ‘Colour Run. ‘ On the drive there we got pumped to Hanson’s all time classic ‘mmmbop.’  Ah, those were the days, back when pop was good!

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The 5k charity run was so FUN, every kilometre you got splattered with a different colour paint.  The end of the race was awesome too- a colourfully fun party, minus alcohol.  Everyone danced and laughed.  Which made me realise you don’t need to drink to get the same feeling of being connected and alive!

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Went home and slept, BIG weekend!

There’s not much to report for the week, so I’ll break it down quickly:

  • Work, exercise, writers group (new member Calum)
  • Had a lovely catch up with Libby mid week, relaxed and gorged on chicken wings, chips and a bottle of Rioja.  Dinner of champions!
  • Lunch date with Miss Jess Ward, who’s fresh of the boat!  Very exciting 🙂

What I learnt this week came from when I was getting ready for Katy Perry.  I did get quite dressed up.  And I had this moment where I thought that maybe I was going OTT.  I wondered what people would think of me.  Then I realised that was the whole point, I was going to a Katy Perry concert! One of my idols that ‘s all about expressing yourself and not being afraid to be who you want to be!

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So with this realisation I strode out the door excited as hell.  I had the time of my life.  Although I didn’t enjoy standing in heels for over 6 hours but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I’m not going to lie, thinking about what other people are thinking has been something that has very much plagued me, still does.  But I guess it happens to us all.  What’s worse I think we think about things to such an extreme that we let what others think of our decisions hold us back from opportunities.   Now that’s a lot of thinking.

A perfect example of this- I read an article in Glamour Mag recently which talks about a girl who was desperate to be an actress but had severe stage fright.  She worked towards her dream, only to be rejected from all the schools she applied for.  Then she realised she was relieved.  It gave her the opportunity to pursue writing.  Acting was what she thought she wanted but it wasn’t.

However she was so scared to give up as she believed people would think that she was a failure.  But she realised it would be totally ridiculous to continue on a path she wasn’t happy with just because she didn’t want people to think she was quitting.  The so called ‘giving up’ was the best thing she ever did.  

Why do we care so much what other people think of us?  As long as we’re not hurting anybody else, why should anyone else care?   We should feel free to just be.  If you’re happy with who you are, that’s all that matters.  I will try to be less concerned about what others think if me.   So if you don’t like this blog post too bad…

There I’m starting already 😉

Funniest moment:

  • Watching Katy Perry scull a beer on stage- priceless!

What I did that scared me:

  • The Colour Run.  Wasn’t sure what to expect (and I hate crowd. There were 6000 people there, but it run swimmingly…

Highs:

  • Watching my idol perform.  I thought I would explode with joy!
  • Colour run
  • New friends

Lows:

  • The weekend ending
  • More grey skies in Londonville
  • Thursday (it was just one of those days)

What I learnt:

  • Try not to be concerned with what others think of you.  It’s your life to live.

What I learnt this week: Just Enjoy

Jeeeeeez, a little behind on this bloggy thingy…

It was a bit of a catch up week- getting back on top of writing, exercise and my social life.  Had dinner with Nichole on Tuesday.  Met her friend Josie, who has just moved across from NZ.  Lovely evening at a piano bar in Barbican.

Checked out Orange (tight arse Tuesday for my non English peeps) Wednesday with Ash.  Scoffed Mexican,  enjoyed girly chats and laughed ourselves silly at ‘Bad Neighbours.’  Also perved our butts off, thank you Zac Efron.  Thank you.

I adore Ash.  She’s one of those people I haven’t known for long but they make you feel like they’ve always been there.  I wish I were as switched on to the wily ways of guys as she is at 22.  Ash doesn’t take any shit from anyone and has helped me realise I shouldn’t either.

The rest of week was pretty standard.  Oh apart from the fact I decided on a whim to visit Kathy in Switzerland.   I couldn’t really afford it, but that’s what God invented credit cards for!  My English one was maxed, so I turned to my good old plastic Aussie friend to help me out.  And boy did it help me out!

To be honest this trip was a bit of a gamble.   I didn’t know Kathy that well (we acted in a short film a couple of years ago), she could have been a crazy for all I knew.  But I took the chance and we got along like a house on fire, (as mum would say).

She really looked after me- we wandered around the beautiful lake where Dave her BF lives, met  her friends, cooked delicious food, checked out the markets in the old town Biel, ate Swiss chocolate and more Swiss chocolate. OMG Almond Toblerone!!!

Headed to Lucerne on the Saturday night.  Wandered around the incredible bridges and churches.  This is one of the most well know cities in Switzerland and it’s stunning.  After dining on over priced burgers (everything is overpriced in Switzerland) Kathy and Dave headed off to see a show they’d booked.

I went for a saunter down to the edge of the lake.  Perched myself in an amazing bar, wrote, whilst sipping on gin and juice (just joking I’m not snoop dog, it was a g and t).  Chatted to a couple of nice Swiss boys and enjoyed the sunset.

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The rest of the weekend was spent driving through stunning mountains in Grindelwald, walking through the valleys of Interlaken and feeling the icy chill of the coldest, bluest lake in Switzerland.  Oh and bathing in an outside heated spa.  Living like a boss!

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It was such a relaxing time.  I loved hanging out with Kathy and Dave.  I loved Switzerland.

The only thing I didn’t love was the cost of living!

However on the Saturday as I sat by the lakeside drinking my g and t guiltily worrying about how much I’d paid I thought- ‘ok I can either enjoy this drink that I’ve paid for with my hard earned cash or feel guilty about treating myself.  The option seemed easy, alas it wasn’t.  But I’m tired of guilt, so I drank every last drop and ordered another.

You may as well live your life whilst you can.  Who knows what will happen tomorrow.  I’m not saying spend all your pennies at once,  just don’t feel bad if you splurge now and again.  You deserve it.  Enjoy your money.  It’s yours, you earnt it.  Unless you stole it, then it’s not yours and you should feel guilty…

Funniest moment:

  • Playing ‘Milky’ with Kathy, Dave and Vicky (that’s probably not how you spell it).   It was a fun game after a couple wines!  Throwing a piece of wood at other pieces of wood with numbers on them, trying to add the numbers you hit to 45.  Sounds dull but it’s very fun and will induce much laughter.

What I did that scared me:

  • Pushed myself out of my comfort zones with regards to cash.  Bashed those credit cards!

Highs:

  • Touching the coldest lake in Switzerland
  • Movie night with Ash
  • Getting to know Kathy

Lows:

  • Leaving Switzerland
  • Getting lost on the tube on the way home from the airport, I was very confused
  • I should mention once I got over paying for my overpriced g and t I then felt guilty about drinking alcohol again.  Seems you can always find something to feel bad about.  But I realised it’s all about moderation.  I’d stopped drinking for two weeks.  I knew that I would eventually drink again anyway.  I just needed to know that I could live life without alcohol.  And I proved I could.  

What I learnt:

  • Don’t be afraid to enjoy what’s yours.  In moderation of course…

Switzerland 2

 

 

 

What I learnt: Absolute Addiction

Little behind on the old blog, London town has been keeping me busy…

You know the saying- ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn.’  That was this week.  And before the dawn could break I had to change.  Not just say I would or plan to but really look at the negative cycles that hold me back.  Then break them.

There’s absolutely no point in continually complaining about something if you never intend to better the situation.

I’ve taken this concept and shone the light on a few areas of my life, in regards to how I view relationships, work and my inner self.  Funnily enough my shitty state of mind seemed to be connected to one thing- ALCOHOL!

I never used to drink as much as I do in London.  It seems so acceptable to drink every night of the week.  It’s just a given to enjoy a couple after work, at dinner, before a film, after a show, a gig and the list goes on.

But to me this means I’m escaping something every night of the week. I had to ask myself- what am I trying to escape?   NB- I don’t drink every night but I found myself wanting to, which definitely worried me.

A few little lines from- ‘The Uses of Enchantment,’ by Bruno Bettelheim really stood out to me this week, you can- ‘accept the problematic nature of life without being defeated by it, or giving in to escapism,’ through psychoanalysis.

Soooo, I had to face my demons, without giving in to alcohol.  For me it was not escaping but spending time by myself, exercising, catching up with good, positive friends.  Working hard but finding time to relax.

I’ve not had a drink in 11 days.  Which may seem easy, but it hasn’t been!  For real change to take place you need to break the damn chains that hold you in the place you say you don’t want to be!

I haven’t gone in to the detail of the complete battle I fought.  As I would more than likely ramble on.  What is important is to recognise what’s trying to control your life.  What negative, destructive patterns you’re stuck in and find a way out.  

What I did this week- writer’s group on Monday which equaled a steak at the Slug and Lettuce, with Stu and Brendan, which equaled a thoroughly enjoyable night.  Started work late on Tuesday and Thursday, which left me with more writing time before the daily grind.  Winning!

Martine shouted me a lovely dinner at ‘Waggamama’ for my bleated birthday celebration.  We dined on seafood soup and Asian ice cream treats.  Lunch with Indu in the park on the Wednesday too.  What a hump day!

Friday was my chill night.  Saturday morning writing.  Then off to Shoreditch for a walk, eat, talk tour, with Shelley.  So much food and fun.  Then met Alessandro my host from Lake Como for a a catch up, wandered through Spitterfield Markets.  And after that was dinner for Ayisha’s birthday- Vietnamese, YUM!

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Sunday was brilliant, the sun was out, I sat in the back yard, reading, researching, relaxing and writing all day!  What a wonderful weekend.

Funniest moment:

  • Funnily enough when I arrived for Ayisha’s birthday she was running late.  So I met some of her friends at least.  We chatted and waited at this really big table.  The staff were putting pressure on us to find out when she was coming.  She wasn’t answering her phone.  There were only four of us.  So we let them take some of the tables that had been reserved.  An hour passed.  Little by little our table space disappeared.  And there were still only the four of us.  We ordered and ate.  Then left after an hour and half.   Found out later she was at a restaurant across the road from us with the same name!  It was a fun night none the less!

What I did that scared me:

  • Sat in the bar by myself, not drinking.  But writing instead, well done me!

Highs:

  • Walking through Shoreditch I found a beautiful garden in front of an old museum.  I sat and contemplated life, ahhhh
  • Talked to Liv, dad and mum on Sunday
  • Eating the best bagel ever!

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Lows:

  • Tried to rid myself of the boy disappointment.  It just sux when you finally feel you have met someone special and they really aren’t at all!
  • Wanting a drink really badly
  • Reading about violence against women in the ‘Vagina Monologues’ (amazing book, everyone should put it on their list!)

What I learnt:

  • If you want to change it’s not easy.  But if it’s truly what you want, you will make it happen.