Monthly Archives: August 2014

What I learnt this week: Good advice

I find it very easy to give advice.  Most of the time I believe it to be relatively helpful, (well I hope it is)…

BUT taking my own advice.  That’s another story!

I’m going to tell you a tale about a close friend. I won’t reveal her name.  As it’s not my love life to blab about, (my love life is simple, I don’t have one).

My friend- let’s call her Mary, was having a really shitty time with guys.  She kept getting stood up, lied to and manipulated.  I asked her where she was meeting these guys.  I think you’ll find the answer no surprise- Tinder.

Now, people swear to me they know couples who met on this app and are happy.  Yes, and I believe in Santa Claus too.  To me Tinder is a lazy, superficial pick up tool.  I suggested to Mary that she delete the app and take a break from guys.  Amazingly she listened to me and did!  It felt great that I was able to help her.

BUT- could I help myself?

I have installed Tinder on my phone on and off.  And the morning Mary told me she deleted the app I had got a msg from a Tom asking how I was.  Lo and behold I got excited.  WTF?

Here I was telling Mary there are only waste men on Tinder and I got excited by the prospect of this guy.  Really, could I have been more desperate?  Oh, I mean more hopeful that he could be the love of my life…

He wasn’t, he was a dick- which I don’t need to go in to.  Annoyed with myself, I finally took my own advice and deleted the app.  See ya later- no shirt guys, stupid lame take a photo in front of the mirror selfie guys, can’t even see you through your grainy pic guys, and weird cartoon version of yourself guys.  You have been thrown in the bin.

It might have taken a bit but I did take my own advice.  It wasn’t easy though.

I wonder why it’s so simple to offer advice to others but not take it for ourselves?  I guess sometimes it’s hard to do what’s right when we have an easier option in front of us.  A good example of this- me finally taking a proper break from alcohol.  It was far easier to dull the negative feelings I was feeling, rather than deal with them.  Now I have to face them head on and it has made me stronger!  (Not physically, but I could definitely bench press with my heart now- that bad boy is strong)!

What did I get up to this week?  Well, it was a busy one!  My mate Craig was over from Sweden on Wednesday.  And we all went out for Ellie’s birthday- Mexican around the corner.  Rubbish food.  Good company.

Thursday night was a work pool tournament at divey sports bar in Victoria.  Chatted to Holly and Andrea- who make up the majority of the girls in the project team I’m working with atm.  It was fun but I decided to go home and cook.  How strangely domestic of me.  To be honest it was hard because they were drinking, and I wasn’t, so I turned to food…

I also joined my local gym this week.  Went to boot camp on Saturday and even made a new friend- Arty.  I think that’s the coolest name.  Gym buddies forever!

Spent the rest of Saturday getting ready for our Party at Park View!  It was fun, we all had friends come over for a BBQ in the back yard.  We even hung fairy lights in the trees!  Went out in Acton to the Aeronaut for a boogy after that.

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Next day it was off to Manchester for work.  Caught up with Holly again.  And we may have gone shopping at he biggest vintage store I’ve ever seen.  Back to the hotel to chill.  Then Mike and Stefan arrived.  We went out for dinner- Mexican!  (No, it’s not the only food I eat, I swear).  What a great way to finish the week!

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Funniest moment:

  • Stefan and Mike were teasing me because I wasn’t drinking.  I decided to tell them a few stories about my recent drinking escapades.  The look on Mike’s face was priceless.  He now understands why I needed a break…

What I did that scared me:

  • Helped start the dance floor at Aeronaut without Dutch courage coursing through my veins!

Highs:

  • Jess joining me on 100 days sober pledge!
  • Started meditating again (that shit is challenging)
  • Staying in on Friday night and watching season 2 of ‘Girls’

Lows:

  • Missing zoo lates because I was just too wrecked to go out again…
  • Lists- I’m tired of them.  If I write another to do for myself my head will explode!
  • Mecure Manchester- I could have chosen a better hotel

What I learnt:

  • It’s good to give advice but don’t forget to take it as well!

What I learnt this week: All the small things

Work wise it was a hectic start to the week.  On Tuesday I sat next to Mike- my project manager.  He’s the calmest person I have EVER met, which is a good as I can be kinda stressy!

We travelled to a work meeting in Manchester on Thursday; not that I saw much, it was a fly in and out tour.  But in the words or Arny, ‘I will be back.’

I took time out for lunch with Justine, one of the lovely girls who has taken me under her wing at work.  We went on a tour of the sites in the area- Buckingham Palace, the Embassy’s, Green Park, Waitrose (hehe, very important to know).

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Also had a lunch date with Libby at this cute little Italian joint.  It was decorated like something from Alice and Wonderland.  I ate a really yummy chicken.

Was lucky enough to catch the legendary ‘Hilltop Hoods’ with Teagan and Nadella, at Koko.  The best venue for a gig in London!  And has the biggest disco ball I’ve ever seen.

By Friday night I needed to chill.  Went home, cooked and relaxed.  The whole weekend was much like that- life admin, exercise, and good food.  Ellie or new housemate moved in 🙂

My lesson this week arrived in a small package (metaphorically speaking).  It was a topic that came up again and again in a big way!

Monday’s workload was a little overwhelming after coming back from my holiday and I may have been slightly stressed.  I had to breathe and take things step by step.  It was about breaking it down in to small achievable chunks.  You can’t climb a mountain in one go.  And you always have to remember to breathe- I forget that all the time!

Also I was talking to Stefan, one of my colleagues (that sounds very grown up) about appreciating the small things in life.  Because those are the things that actually add up to us being most happy.  If we take time to smell the roses everyday, life can be pretty sweet.

To further back up this concept we have started making improvements around the house, now the dull house mates are out and the new improved are in.  Our house is old but we have started with a few small things like painting the bathroom, adding a new shower curtain & bath mat, rearranging the lounge room, popping fairy lights in the garden which make it feel more homey.

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It seems like it’s all the small things that add up to make the big picture come together.  If you look at a task that seems insurmountable but break it down, it becomes achievable.  Likewise it’s the small pleasures which I believe give you the most satisfaction in life.  Think small to achieve big.

Funniest moment:

  • Not realising that during my decorating I had accidentally painted half my hair blue in the process…

What I did that scared me:

  • Went skydiving- (in my dreams, sorry it was a bit of a quiet week and I needed to make something up- but it’s on the list!)

Highs:

  • Weekend- chilling
  • Catching ‘Begin Again’ with Jess.  I really liked the film; it left me feeling very contemplative.  I’m always so structured with how I want things to turn out and how I will get to where I want to be.  Sometimes I’m not open to the possibility that wouldn’t exist except for a twist of fate.  The film is about one moment that can change your whole life in an instance, if you are open to it (end mini lesson)
  • Went out for a yum Thai meal by myself.   I was so hungry but when the food came I ended up with a half a grilled chicken, big plate of vege and a huge pot of tea.  Yes I ate it all!

Lows:

  • Not getting to see Manchester whilst I was there
  • Being in a 6 hour meeting, that was long…
  • Feeling like I will be alone forever- due to someone getting engaged whom I was happy for but brought up my own feelings which weren’t so happy. (This was only one night of self pity and I had to deal with my emotions without alcohol, it was tough but I faced it)

What I learnt:

  • Small things make a BIG difference.