Monthly Archives: June 2015

What I learnt this week: Just be here

‘Taking steps is easy, standing still is hard.’

Thank-you ‘Orange is the New Black.’ (I think orange in the new freaking awesome)! I definitely agree with the above statement.  I’ve always been the type to keep busy and not stop to smell the roses.  Perhaps scared of what they may smell like?

So I’d made the move to Leeds and was working out of the Manchester office.  Which if I’m honest was a bit of a pain (4 hour commute each day) but I loved staying at Martine and Gareth’s.  It felt like I was in a real home, not just existing in a shoe box, like in London.

Although suddenly I didn’t have London.  Which meant my social life looked relatively empty.  Oh- so I complained about being living la vida loca and then when I got peace and quiet, I didn’t know what to do with it…

I realised this was because I was so used to running that when I stopped I actually had to look and see where my mind was at.  And I wasn’t sure…I decided I needed time in Leeds. I needed to settle.  I needed to stand still.

Apart from the hectic work commute, the weekend was lovely: fish and chip Friday (the first I’ve had in the UK- with mushy peas!).  Out on the town on Saturday night.  Had my mind blown whilst watching ‘Interstellar’ on the IMAX, followed by a Sunday roast.  Which seemed to becoming a weekly thing.  It’s something I can get used to, I suppose 😉

Leeds

PS The above week actually happened in November 2014…

What I learnt this week: KISS

Not real kissing.  Don’t get excited.  I’m talking about ‘Keep It Simple Stupid.’  As a woman I tend not to follow this rule…EVER!

I bring this idea up because it was my last week in London (well it was in October 2014 haha) and a few things happened to make me reconsider my decision to move to Leeds. My brain started to over react- it was a whole should I stay or should I go situation!

What happened to make me think twice?  Thanks for asking…

1. I caught up with a director who had been a part of my script reading (during the London Screenwriters’ Festival), a brilliant, creative who liked my work and was interested in developing it with me

2. I saw ‘Electra’ at the Old Vic, and during interval I sat drinking a glass of wine, looking out the window at the beautiful chaos of London

3. Then on Thursday I had my leaving party and got to hear all the nice things people thought of me. And that they wanted me to stay, awww

4. Finally I had the most amazing weekend when Hannah B came to London to visit.  On Friday night we went out for a Halloween pub crawl dressed as dark Disney Princesses (as you do).  Meeting up with Jess, Heather and Larissa in Shoreditch.  Then caught up with Hannah’s hilarious Northern mates, as well.  It was a fun night.  Although it wasn’t so much fun catching the tube the next day in my Princess Jasmine costume, along with smeary joker face.  See below…

Jasmine

On Saturday Hannah and I caught up with the Northern boys for lunch.  This turned into drink at  a local pub, then another at the Queen of Hoxton.  The rooftop section there is amazing.  As I look out over London I wondered if I was making the right decision…

I raced to pack my things on the Sunday, as I’d been putting it off because:

1. Packing sux

2. I wasn’t sure I should leave after the amazing week I had!

But then it was time- Hannah put me on the train (with my ridiculous amount of things and I waved good bye).   Arrived in Leeds to a warm welcome from Martine and Gareth.  We went to the pub for an even warmer roast to celebrate.

After dinner, I walked upstairs to my new room, unpacked my things.  Then lay in bed.  I couldn’t hear anything.  All was calm outside.  And I felt calm.  I never had that in London.

I knew I’d made the right decision.  I didn’t need to over think it.  I was unhappy in London and I moved.

Simple.

 

What I learnt this week: Be here

‘Taking steps is easy, standing still is hard.’

Thank-you ‘Orange is the New Black.’ (I think orange in the new freaking awesome)! I definitely agree with the above statement.  I’ve always been the type to keep busy and not stop to smell the roses.  Perhaps scared of what they may smell like?

So I’d made the move to Leeds and was working out of the Manchester office.  Which if I’m honest was a bit of a pain (4 hour commute each day) but I loved staying at Martine and Gareth’s.  It felt like I was in a real home, not just existing in a shoe box, like in London.

Although suddenly I didn’t have London.  Which meant my social life looked relatively empty.  Oh- so I complained about being living la vida loca and then when I got peace and quiet, I didn’t know what to do with it…

I realised this was because I was so used to running that when I stopped I actually had to look and see where my mind was at.  And I wasn’t sure…I decided I needed time in Leeds. I needed to settle.  I needed to stand still.

Apart from the hectic work commute, the weekend was lovely: fish and chip Friday (the first I’ve had in the UK- with mushy peas!).  Out on the town on Saturday night.  Had my mind blown whilst watching ‘Interstellar’ on the IMAX, followed by a Sunday roast.  Which seemed to becoming a weekly thing.  It’s something I can get used to, I suppose 😉

Leeds

PS The above week actually happened in November 2014…

What I learnt this week: My hero

Remember when you were a little kid?  You felt invincible.  You could do anything.  You could even fly! Well until you jumped off the roof, hit the ground, and broke your arm.  But hey, you still flew right? Even if it was only momentarily.

Then someone told you couldn’t do something, because you weren’t good enough.  That was the moment you began to doubt your superhuman strength.  A tiny bit of that hero inside died.  Then another person (d%$k) told you weren’t good enough at something else.  A little bit more of that hero died…

As you grew up you heard over and over again that you weren’t good enough.  Until you actually believed the lies.  Eventually that superhero vanished completely.

And try as you might to achieve your dreams you couldn’t, because it turns out you were the one blocking yourself.  The reason being- you had lost the power to believe you could do anything!  This week I recognised this is what had happened to me.

How did I realise this?  The answer is…

By attending the London Screenwriters’ Festival. My favourite event of the year!

In 2013 I went along to the festival to meet people and see what the London writing scene was like.  This year I focused more on the business of writing.  I chose sessions that would push me to become the writer I want to be now!

Right from the opening address by Chris Jones, (the organiser of LSF) I had a ‘I know I’m meant to be here’ moment.  He asked us to call upon our inner Superhero- to name that hero.  Turned out mine was called ‘F%$k Yeah!’  This hero would help push us out of our comfort zone- we would pitch to that person, we would talk to that stranger, we would ask that question!

Then I went to another session where you had to emotionally recall the times you were made to feel bad about yourself.  This exercise is designed to help rewire the brain so you can deal with negative thoughts.

But first we had to feel all the times we’d felt rubbish.  And so much came up!  I’d been holding onto a lot of horrible crap people had said to me over the years.  These things weren’t true but I believed them and made them my reality.  These lies made me believe I couldn’t be that Superhero!

I had to face all that negativity, feel it fully and let it out.  This is a very brief nutshell of the exercise, obviously there’s more to it. Once I did this I was able to ‘feel the fear’ and do it anyway.  I pitched to Joel Schumacher, I chatted confidently to everyone, I was completely there.  And I realised nothing could ever hold me back again.

I’ve found my Superhero and she’s gonna soar! (Maybe not off the roof though).

F%$k Yeah!

Super woman