Monthly Archives: July 2015

What I learnt this week: Why don’t you just listen?

March 2015…

Listen.

How often are you ‘listening’ to someone but not actually hearing them?  To actively listen is such an amazing skill.  It should be an easy thing to do, but apparently it’s not. However when you do chat with someone who really hears you, it shows.

So why don’t we all listen?

There’s many answers and it depends on what’s happening when you’re supposed to be listening…Maybe you remembered you didn’t turn off the iron and you’re visualising your house burning down.  Maybe the person has been talking for ages and you’re bored. Or you’re busy working.  Maybe you just don’t care.

Whatever the reason- you aren’t listening.  I’m guilty of it.  We all are.  But hand on my heart I will try to do better.

Lesson over- what did I do this week?

It was an intense time at work which was manageable only because I had a four day week! Yay!  On Friday I was off to Iceland with Michelle!

What a country!  We were amazed by the landscapes; cascading waterfalls, hot springs, vast snowy fields, incredible blue skies, pebble beaches and raging waves.  We even got to walk on a glacier with a guide named Thor.  Wow!  That made my life!

It was so fun travelling with Michelle.  I didn’t know her before the trip.  We  had met in Aus through a good friend but hadn’t spent time together in the UK.   It’s always lovely to make a new buddy, especially one who loves experiencing life the same way you do- as an adventure!

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What I learnt this week: My mentor

Feb 2015…

Everyone has that nasty little voice inside their head.  The jerk that tells you that you’re not good enough at ANYTHING.  Actually it’s not little; it’s pretty loud and aggressive.  The worst part is we listen to that voice!

But think about this- if that voice were a guy at the bar telling you that you we were rubbish- would you listen? Me thinks not (well I definitely wouldn’t, I’d punch the guy out)! So why do we let that inner critic voice beat us up?

Who knows?

But actually I don’t want to talk about that crappy inner critic.  I want to talk about your inner mentor!  This is the dude standing on the side lines screaming ‘You can do it!’

However even though he’s screaming he still seems to get drowned out by his nemesis (the inner critic).  So how do we nurture that positive voice…?

Well as always different things will work for different people (the following might be a bit airy fairy for you).  I did a visualisation exercise from Tara Morh’s ‘Playing big book.’  It was amazing!  Cut a long story short I had to imagine myself 20 years from now and ask questions to my inner mentor to find out what I need to be doing now to get to that place.

I did it.

And because I was able to connect with the inner mentor I can now hear both voices- (although it sometimes seems like there’s a lot more than 2 voices chattering away up there).  The best thing is I choose the one I listen and react to!  So can you!

Apart from the awesome lesson I learnt this week, this is what I got up to:

It was a relatively quiet week at work, which was needed.  Apart from Friday which was crazy!  And I managed to get taken out to Jamie’s Italian for lunch by Mike.  Winning!

The weekend was amazing.  I headed to Redditch after work.  Stayed a nice hotel.  Where I enjoyed a few quiet g and t’s, some writing, followed by an early night.  As on the Saturday I attended a career writing workshop.  It was such an awesome day.  I felt really engage and that I had a lot to contribute.

Had a drink with one of the ladies- Jenny who I met at the course.  She was leaving and something in me asked her to stay for a chat and she did.  I’m so glad she did, we got along so well and shared many similar life stories.  It inspired me even more and I sat and wrote for a few hours over dinner.

The next day the inspiration continued and I went for a walk in the surrounding woods before the writing spree continued!

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What I learnt this week: What you see, isn’t always what you get…

Feb 2015…

A picture doesn’t always tell a thousand words.

I was chatting to a good friend who’d been slogging her guts out with a bunch of creatives in a very cramped space for a week.  Someone had taken a photo, she’d smiled.  The pic was then posted on Facebook and it looked like she was having a ball.  But it wasn’t true at all!

Just because it appears like you are having fun in one moment doesn’t mean you are…

This concept of ‘what you see, isn’t always what you get’ developed further when I read an article by Miranda Hart this week.  She said- ‘don’t judge others outsides by your insides.’

What she meant by this is- someone might look like they have the perfect life- great body, car, career (and the list goes on) but possibly they don’t feel great on the inside.  Maybe they’re unhappy (maybe they aren’t).  The point is you can’t look at someone and think you’d feel better if you were them.  You don’t know.

Hmmmm, what else did I do this week?  Spent some time in London again.  Got to catch up with Andrea for a lunch stroll around Hyde Park, which was lovely.  Managed to watch a whole season of ‘Community’ – which always put me in a good mood!   Friday drinks with Claire and Barney.  And the highlight this week was catching ‘Beth Orton’ at Band on the wall- my first gig in Manchester! Yay!

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What I learnt this week: Love me

Feb 2015…

Ah there’s nothing like V Day to make you feel incredibly single (well if you’re single like me, that is).  But the thing is I have loads of love in my life already.  I don’t need a man to feel loved, (although I won’t say no- I’m talking directly to you Ryan Gosling).

So feeling a bit downhearted I decided to do something nice for others (rather than put my head in an oven…jokes).  I messaged all the singletons in my life.  Love isn’t exclusive for lovers.  It’s everywhere.  And you have to give to receive!

Enough mushy stuff…

It was an interesting week at work.  When I say ‘interesting’, I mean incredibly stressful.   I travelled to Cumbria for a meeting and ended up there for the entire week.  I didn’t really have the clothes to support the change of plans.  Eek.  Note to self always pack spare knickers!

By Friday I was back in Manchester and was so shattered.  Had lunch with Libby and she gave me a heart shaped necklace.  Its’ so lovely when someone buys you an unexpected gift!  See comment above- ‘give to receive!’