Monthly Archives: October 2015

What I learnt this week: No fear!

I watched ‘Miss you already’ this week.  There’s a scene in which Toni Collett’s character, (who’s dying of cancer) walks passed a chalkboard with blank spaces you could fill in after the words- ‘Before I die I want to live…’

She wrote:  ‘Before I die I want to live- without fear.’

What an amazing concept. Fear is such a strong emotion in our every day lives. Be it big or small concerns, rational or irrational there’s that lingering anxiety.  It’s seemingly inescapable.

However, sometimes you just need to feel the fear and do it anyway. That way each time you do something which makes you nervous, you get a little better at doing it. Life gets easier, because those things that once scared you no longer do.  It seems quite simple but it definitely works for me.

Sometimes I have a chat with fear, which goes something like this- ‘sure fear I know your trying to hold me back but you know what- I’m gonna do it anyway.  You can’t stop me!’ (I’ve taken out the expletives).

Even when I started this blog I was afraid people wouldn’t read it or they would judge me. But I still did it. Because I’d rather feel the fear than not take a chance on doing something I’ve always wanted to do.  Fear doesn’t have to control us.

Lucky for me my week was filled with anything but fear. I flew to QLD to visit my brothers, who I hadn’t hung out with in 2 years!  Seeing them with awesome girlfriends and settled in their lives made my heart glow.  We spent the weekend together, where there was lots of laughter, celebrating and catching up. It made me realise how much I’d missed them and how important they are to me.

There are so many things to fear in this world but you know what there’s also so many things to love.


P.S. The ‘Before I die’ chalkboard was started by Candy Change.  It’s a really cool story:

What Sally learnt this week: Attention please!

This week I learnt there’s an ugly, needy gremlin in me…

I was excited to catch up with everyone now that I was in back in Aussie.  So I hosted a little coming home party.  Unfortunately a bunch of peeps no showed on me. Of course this type of thing happens to everyone- I know! But it’s hard not to take it personally.  Kinda like when someone breaks up with you and they say-‘don’t take it personally’- how else am I meant to take it, you big, dumb jerk? (I’m not bitter, at all).

Don’t get me wrong this isn’t a post to incite guilt. No. No. Let me explain.

The needy gremlin (I’m pretty sure he lurks in us all) tried to tell me those friends didn’t come because they didn’t like me anymore. However that’s just not the reality.

It’s kinda like when a friend doesn’t reply to you via text message, email, Facebook, What sApp, Viber, fax, carrier pigeon etc.  People are busy, they forget, the dog dies, their boyfriend/girlfriend is stupid, they feel ill or anxious.  Millions of ‘anythings’ could be happening in their life!

Just because they’re not showing you constant ATTENTION- doesn’t mean they don’t care about you!

Anyways, when I wasn’t wasting energy chilling the gremlin out I was being productive; writing, catching up with friends (I met Liv’s beautiful baby- Bonnie), visited the dentist, job searching. The best part was probably applying for the dole.  Fun times.

Actually no, the best part was Luke’s 90’s party. I dressed as something that could be described as a chick from the 90’s playschool era (see below). Although thank god kids weren’t watching as I think I drank a little too much vodka…

Let’s start a new week, shall we?


What I learnt this week: Committed?

At times I’ve thought that I wasn’t in a relationship because a guy wouldn’t commit to me. But this week I realised that maybe I’m a bit of a commitment-phobe too…

So how did I discover this?

I was back home.  And it felt good.  Australia is so bright, so big, and so beautiful. Everything mesmerised me- I was like a little kid experiencing life for the first time.

My arrival started on a high- with a Dave and Josie’s wedding.  It was such a beautiful day, sharing the beginning of the next chapter in their lives. We ate, drank and were merry.  It made me wonder if I could do that.  Could I commit to someone for the rest of my life?

This is what led to a week of questioning commitments…

I went on to meet a guy that works in the Melbourne Hay Group office, (the company I was working for in the UK) to chat about job possibilities.  It was positive, but did I want to commit to a full-time job whilst still pursuing writing?

The biggest indicator that I’m indeed a commitment-phobe was when I had to sign a mobile phone plan for 2 years.  I was sweating as I held that pen.  My heart was beating fast.  A million ‘what if’ questions were running through my mind.  But I needed a phone, so I signed the dotted line.  (At least it wasn’t a husband that I needed).

Overall it was a surreal week getting back into the swing of life here; catching up with friends, running in the SUNSHINE, heading to the cinema, eating all the foods I used to eat (shapes- ahh I’ve missed you). It was the same but somehow different…

As for my phobia, who knows what will happen there.  Maybe I’ll find something worth committing to.


What I learnt this week: Up in the air

This week I hit Malaysia for a vacation in the heart of the jungle.  I met mum in Kota Kinabulo and we were set to fly to Mulu the next day.  It was going to be perfect…Except it was one of those weeks where nothing seems to go right…

The very short story (believe me you don’t want the full version) is because of a man-made haze created in Indonesia, part of our flights were cancelled and we got stuck half-way to Mulu.  After hours of waiting we were put in accommodation (frequented by ladies of the night) and left to wonder what would happen, as all flights from previous days had been cancelled.

The next day there were; arguments, refunds, the purchasing additional tickets to get the hell out of the hell hole we were stuck in and more delays.  I was angry.  But not for no reason, we’d been messed around and treated badly.

However the real reason I was upset was because I’d planned a lovely holiday for mum and it had turned to shambles.  It was clear we’d never get to Mulu, so we needed to get back to Kota Kinabulo where we could stay in a resort we’d visited on previous trips.

I approached the ticket counter again and explained that if the next flight didn’t leave we’d need to get on the following.  I revealed to the staff member I hadn’t seen my mum in a long time and it was a surprise trip for her, as she’d been unwell.  Turns out her mum had died not long ago, so after some tears on both sides she said- ‘no matter what you will be getting on a flight tonight.’

We did.  And we enjoyed a week in the Shangri-La Rasa Ria in Kota Kinabulo.  It was lovely. Swimming, cocktails by the beach, endless food, relaxing and catching up with our friends Farliani and Fardianie who we’d met the first time we visited the resort.  They now have kids and joked that I was next…

I always think that if you can connect with others and see the human side of people you will go a lot further than if you treat them badly.  Once you understand a situation or the reason why people act the way they do it opens your eyes.