‘You have to put yourself out there.’
When I hear this phrase, it makes me cringe. Why you ask? Well, let me tell you all about it…
I surround myself with amazing women I admire. They’re smart, funny, courageous, inspiring and just plain awesome. Some of them are married, some aren’t. But I love them all the same.
I recently had a conversation with one of them- Hannah (who is currently not seeing anyone). She told me that a female co-worker mentioned she needed to ‘put herself out there.’ It was well-meaning but exceptionally patronising at the same time.
I considered why I found it so offensive…
Hannah is enjoying her life right now, all the ups and downs. Just doing her thing. But god forbid she could be ‘single’ and actually be happy!
Because as a ‘single’ woman if you say you’re swell without someone- it can’t be true. You really must be empty and cry your sorrows away with a bottle of Chardonnay every night. Just waiting for a prince to come along.
The reality is that some of us single gals are good just as we are. I know it’s crazy. But there you have it. We can live exactly how we want, do what we want, when we want. Hello- complete freedom.
When someone says to me ‘put yourself out there,’ it’s the equivalent of me telling them to leave their boyfriend and try being alone. Essentially you’re asking me to be with someone, when I’m content just as I am.
Why would anyone tell someone else to ‘get out there,’ when they’re perfectly happy in whatever state they find themselves in?
Even more importantly I realised Hannah does put herself out there. And so do I. We’re not cat ladies, hiding away from the world. We both; write, travel the world, read, go out, explore etc. So, thanks for the well-meaning advice but be we’re already ‘out there’ living our lives.
Just what did I do out there this week?
- Had a long session with my writing mentor- Hayley. It was time to choose my next venture, now that I’ve completed the 3rd draft of my latest script. Yea!
- Got to work with Tara for a VIP dinner. It’s so awesome getting back into hospo. I didn’t think I would like it after all these years. But the simplicity of cleaning and being able to help someone brings a sense of satisfaction. (Also it’s totally awesome working with Tarz, because she’s totally awesome)
- Oh, another highlight was that I taught a Body Balance class for the first time in 2 years. It was so great to begin again!
- Finally it was our annual girls Chrissy party. Headed out to Nicole’s, on a stinking hot day. Ate, drank and chilled in the pool, while we sizzled. Later that night, we sat under the stars and enjoyed the cool breeze. Talked about things to come in 2016.