What I learnt this week: Be so emotional

Okay Dokay.  Since I’m still 3 weeks behind on blogster, I was going to try and keep this brief but when I looked back over my notes for this particular week it’ll be hard to do…

It was my last week at Prospero! It went by in a flash. The team and I were doing final prep for the long awaited audit. Oh the joy. That meant very early mornings and late nights.  I was so very happy once it was over.

Suddenly it came to Friday and it was time for me to say good-bye to everyone.  I was sad to leave the amazing people I’d met, but everyone was happy that I was moving to a new role.  One that I know will suit me better.  And be a new challenge.

More noteworthy new was that on Monday after waking up hung over again I decided I no longer wanted to feel that way.  But I didn’t know how to stop my sordid ways. On a whim I posted that I’d do ‘100 Days Sober.’  I’d seen friends posting for ‘100 Days Happy.’  I thought why not?  This was without realising there would be no drinking for the entire summer in Europe!

The response I got scared me a little…

  • ‘Don’t worry everyone, she’s joking!’
  • ‘What about V Fest? We’re going to be drunk, you’ll be bored!’
  • ‘Sally, that’s stupid. Drink like the French, just don’t be a bogan and get wasted!’
  • ‘What about Edinburgh Fringe Fest, did you think this through?’

Someone even posted a meme-

  • ‘I just got some juice out the fridge and I swear I heard the wine say what the f@#k?’

It was a very strong reaction!  One of which I totally didn’t expect.  And made me realise how much of our lives revolve around drinking.  Especially mine!  But I made my pledge and now I have to stick to it.

‘They’ (I never really know who we’re actually referring to when we say ‘they’) usually say the first part is the hardest.  Which was made harder on Monday night when Jess and I stopped at ‘The Castle’ for dinner.  Our meal was no good so we were offered a bottle of wine.  WTF?  Free wine!  As an Aussie you don’t say no to those things. But I did.  Scored free brownies instead!  Yum.

Tuesday night I went to Shoreditch with Jo, a girl I met on a walking tour who happened to be a writer as well.  Met a couple of her friends.  We checked out an art exhibition, which had free wine.  Why universe, why???

Wednesday night we had a flat dinner to informally ‘interview’ the potential new girl- Ellie.  She turned up with a bottle of wine.  And I really could have used a drink with audit being the next day.  I was a tad stressed! Instead we had a lovely Mexican dinner and chatted the night away.

Thursday night after audit we all went out for work drinks.  I wanted to celebrate and everyone wanted to buy me drinks.  However I stayed strong. What’s more a bunch of us went to karaoke until the wee hours.  Everyone was drunk and I was stone cold sober.  Still had so much fun- singing and dancing!

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After a massive week I was ready to chill. But no rest for the wicked as they say.  I had to catch the train to Liverpool early Saturday to visit my friend Hannah Beard, whom I realised I hadn’t seen in 7 years.  We met in Vietnam in 2008.  Wowzers, time flies!

We had a wonderful chilled weekend.  I’ll dot point what we did, to make it easy on myself:

Saturday-

  •  Arrived in the rain, cup of tea and a catch up chat, met her BF Richard
  • Headed to the closest art gallery, checked out a Grayson Pearson’s  tapestry exhibition (amazing)
  • Huge vegie lunch at a hip local café
  • Saw a musical- ‘Dead dog in a suitcase’ (crazy)
  • Wandered around a few churches
  • Quick non-alcoholic bevy in an iconic bar (well the toilet was the iconic feature)
  • Home to cook a yummy dinner
  • Headed back out to an alcohol free bar- met some characters there!

Sunday-

  • Lazy breaky
  • Walk down to the marina area, in the beautiful sunshine
  • Beatles photo gallery
  • Bit of op shopping
  • Lovely roast lunch at ‘Redemption’
  • Tate modern- checking out the masters and some weird modern art
  • LOTS OF CHATTING

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It was a brilliant weekend.  I actually didn’t know Hannah that well before.  However I could see we’ve both grown a lot as people since the first time we met.  We share very similar views of the world and how we live our lives.  It was wonderful not to do the small talk thing but to really chat with her.  Can’t say how much I enjoyed my time in Liverpool 🙂

What did I learn you ask?  Well…

It was connected to emotion.  It’s safe to say I’m a very emotional person.  But that’s not a bad thing. It’s healthy to have emotions, as long as you let them out and move on. Holding on to anger or sadness is dangerous. You gotta let it flow.

I saw a book whilst waiting for my train to Liverpool- ‘Emotional Intelligence’- learning how to control your emotion.  You can’t control your emotions!  Although I did have an ex who once said ‘don’t have your emotions.’  What?  That’s like telling me not to breathe.

If they’re there, they’re there for a reason. You need to listen to what they’re telling you! Don’t be scared of them.  And definitely don’t think they make you weak.  I saw a great quote from Zooey Deshanal.  It resonates so much with me and how I feel about this topic:

“Being tender and open is beautiful. As a woman, I feel continually shhh’ed. Too sensitive. Too mushy. Too wishy washy. Blah blah. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.”

Amen sister!

One more thing on emotions.  As a writer it’s so important to reach out to people on a deep emotional level.  If someone can connect with your writing, they will understand it and therefore it will stick with them.  

Think of your fav film and picture which scene you still remembered today.  It will likely be a very emotional scene, one where the character showed vulnerability- the moment of letting go, understanding, love etc.  We connect to this emotion and it’s a cathartic release for us.  Because we need to feel.  We are human not are not robots.  So go on, feel your feelings fully!

Funniest moment:

  • Falling over in the rain, beside the road.  Skirt flew up, along with  my umbrella.  Cars driving by got a front row ticket to the ‘Sally bum show.’  I should have charged big bucks…

What I did that scared me:

  • Gave up alcohol (for 100 days at least)

Highs:

  • Tax return- yea.  There is my ticket back to Aus taken care of!
  • Vietnamese dinner with Jo and her friends
  • Liverpool- the whole weekend!

Lows:

  • Wanting to drink
  • Audit prep stress (it’s a thing, you will know it if you have ever prepared one)
  • Sooooo freaking tired

What I learnt:

  • Don’t be scared of your emotions- let them flow!

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