This week in an effort to go beyond our digital dating system I went Speed dating. It was a crazy, fun and very random experience.
What Speed dating taught me…
- It’s OK to tick no when you don’t feel a connection. You don’t have to be a ‘nice girl’ and worry about hurting a guys feelings because you don’t like him. As general rule it’s OK to say no in life. Don’t say yes, unless you mean it.
- Explaining who you are doesn’t necessarily mean you have to share what you do for a living. Because what you do isn’t who you are. It’s only a part of you.
- There’s no text, tweet, email to hide behind. It’s real, raw and you have to engage in conversation like the olden day humans used to do. And that’s scary but exhilarating too!
- It’s better to be honest because faking it with 20 strangers for 3 hours is a challenge no-one wants.
- You have the freedom to disagree with people and share your own opinions. You don’t have to stroke other people’s ego.
- The best idea is to go with an open heart and no expectations. You never know who you’ll meet and what great conversations you might have. It’s also an awesome way to expand your friendship group.
- You’re forced to talk to people that you might’ve ignored had you been in an ordinary bar situation. Because of this, your mind can be blown.
- Everyone there just wants to connect with another human being. And that’s a really beautiful thing. It’s not tragic, it’s not hopeless, it’s not pathetic. It’s f*cking beautiful. Speed dating is a brave thing to do.
- It reminds you that it’s important to step out of your comfort zone every now and again. And more importantly to know that you can!
- You make it your own experience by the energy you give out. Not everyone will be a match. Sometimes 4 minutes will feel like 4 hours. But at the end of a day it’s a great story. And life is all about adventures- BIG and small!
P.S. Going with a good friend definitely helps with any beforehand nerves. And it’s also fun to have someone to have a laugh with after!
Because I chose to pursue a career in the creative industries I’ve spent a lot of in-between time doing jobs I don’t necessarily find…let’s say- mentally stimulating. BUT I’m grateful for those jobs and the fact that I can fall back into them when I need to.
I recently finished a 7-month contract at the ABC. Which was right up my alley as far as industry stuff goes. Alas, my contract finished. So I went back to my previous hospo job.
And the funny thing is even though I’m not challenged in the position, I enjoy the simplicity of it. You can actually feel a sense of accomplishment when you are getting sh*t done. It’s easy and the days fly by.
It also helps to work with cool people! I was chatting to one of the gals and she mentioned going back to uni to get a degree, so she could be respected. As she feels she isn’t respected in her current position.
Hmmmm, I thought. Do people not respect me because I’m back working in the service industry? Possibly.
Then I thought there’s people that occasionally disrespect my mum AND she’s a teacher. Bringing up the youth of tomorrow! She has a degree and has been in the job for many years. (I won’t reveal how many- she reads this blog).
The point is the anyone who doesn’t respect me probably doesn’t respect loads of people in different jobs. And hey- that’s on them. Not me. I’m the one that has to be ok with my life choices.
We spend far too much time worrying about what people think of us. And just because you have a certain type of job doesn’t make you a better human. What makes you a good human is being a good human.
So I may not be working in the most glamorous job atm but that’s ok. I have the brain capacity to sit down and write after a day at work. Which is what I’m looking for.
Plus- I respect myself and really that’s all that matters!
I joined ‘Meet Up’ this week as a way to meet new people. And possibly new guys. I can’t handle Tinder or Bumble or any other ridiculously superficial dating app. But I also can’t handle being a nun.
So I signed up to loads of groups that interested me. Even weird and wacky stuff like ‘laughing yoga.’ Then it came to choosing a profile pic. I wanted it to be a true representation. Not me all glammed up. The photo I used was a selfie of me making a funny face somewhere on the Camino I walked last year. I look sweaty but happy, (see below).
Anyway, pleased with myself for getting out there I switched my phone off and fell asleep. I woke up to messages from ‘Meet Up,’ welcoming me. Which was great. Cool things for me to do! But then there was a message from a guy who seems to be using the app like Tinder. NONONONONO. Exactly what I didn’t want. Side note- what he wrote was flattering- that I was gorgeous and he’d love to meet up. Nice, right?
It is nice. BUT this is the whole thing I was trying to get away from- looking at someones outside appearance without knowing anything about them and deciding ‘yep, I’d like to date them.’ I could be a complete psychopath. (I’m generally not. But…) Just because I look a certain way doesn’t mean sh*t. And this is the whole damn problem with all these dating apps.
We look at a photo and think- ‘owww, they look nice. They must be nice.’ It’s unrealistic and downright scary. I wanted to use ‘Meet Up’ as a way of meeting people whilst doing something of interest. Not just meeting someone because I like the way they look.
It’s a slippery slope we are on with this dating app thing. Call me old fashioned but I’m staying out of it. If I can’t meet a human without swiping them- then so be it. I’m going to be out in the real world meeting people. And wherever that leads is fine by me.
I’m a big fan of ‘Guardians of the Galaxy.’ And when I watched the 2nd instalment I fell in love with Baby Groot. Now, I know that’s weird but his character made me so happy. And I haven’t been able to stop watching his little dancing clips on You Tube. I’ve basically become obsessed…
I had to ask myself why? I mean he’s a cartoon character!!! Anyway I came to the conclusion that he makes me smile. I watch him being all cute and can’t help but be happy. He represents childhood fun and complete abandon. And that’s such a beautiful quality.
Having fun is something us adults don’t seem to do now we’re all grown up!
However after last weekend I’m able to say I had the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Myself and bunch of girlfriends went out to celebrate my birthday. As we sat eating our dumplings and sipping our sparkles we remarked how we couldn’t even remember the last time we got dressed up! Let alone go out to dance the night away!
And dance we did. After dinner we headed to a music party filled with old school hits from our teenage years. For 4 hours straight we danced and laughed like nobody was watching. It was pure fun. And was one of the best nights of my life. There’s nothing more uplifting than being surrounded by friends and enjoying the hell out the moment.
Fun is something we could all use a little more of- whether it’s laughing at silly You Tube clips, dancing like crazy or pulling a practical joke- we need more of it. There are so many serious things to think about (and yes we need to face those things) BUT it doesn’t mean we can’t have a laugh along the way 🙂