When I picture addiction I see a junkie high as a kite in a land far, far away from me. We all believe that person would never be us. Even if it is…
The truth is we’re all addicted to something. And we may not even realise it. Be it alcohol, chocolate, or checking our phone obsessively (not that I ever do that). The way you’ll know your addicted, is if you can’t suddenly have it, you’ll feel anxious.
And it’s funny how addiction can start so innocently.
We were in Albury for our last show of ‘Sleeping Beauty.’ The cast decided to head out for one final dinner. We scoffed a delicious pub meal and laughed over a couple of bevies. On the way out, Jac spotted a pockie machine.
We decided to play.
I put in $1 and lost. I was like stuff that. My money is gone. I can’t see how people get addicted to this s$%t! Then all of a sudden Lochie’s machine started going off. And it kept going. He won $250 from putting three bucks in the machine- just like that!
I decided if he could do it. So could I! I tried again and lost. Then I saw how easily it could be to get addicted- chasing the thrill of the illusive win. Luckily I didn’t have any more change so it was game over for me.
But was so easy to want it again. And it’s hard when you’re so deep into something. You have to recognise addiction for yourself and decided how to handle it. It’s up to you to make the choices that are right for you. It isn’t easy to stop. If it was it wouldn’t be addiction! But you can change. It just depends how much you want to…
After the fun and games that night we got up the next morning and performed our last show. I improvised a bit, something that I’m usually scared of. Because my addiction is control. And I like to know my lines back to front, so I can control the outcome.
But I let go. I felt the fear leave my body. And I was there in the moment; free to speak my mind, (well Maleficent’s at least).
That was the last of my surprise ‘Sleeping Beauty’ tour. On Saturday we ended on a high with the entire Alpha company cast dinner at Fonda (I could get addicted to the amazing burritos there)! The mood was merry as we talked and laughed about all the shows of the year. Another great Christmas celebration!
Keep em’ coming 🙂