What I learnt this week: Committed?

At times I’ve thought that I wasn’t in a relationship because a guy wouldn’t commit to me. But this week I realised that maybe I’m a bit of a commitment-phobe too…

So how did I discover this?

I was back home.  And it felt good.  Australia is so bright, so big, and so beautiful. Everything mesmerised me- I was like a little kid experiencing life for the first time.

My arrival started on a high- with a Dave and Josie’s wedding.  It was such a beautiful day, sharing the beginning of the next chapter in their lives. We ate, drank and were merry.  It made me wonder if I could do that.  Could I commit to someone for the rest of my life?

This is what led to a week of questioning commitments…

I went on to meet a guy that works in the Melbourne Hay Group office, (the company I was working for in the UK) to chat about job possibilities.  It was positive, but did I want to commit to a full-time job whilst still pursuing writing?

The biggest indicator that I’m indeed a commitment-phobe was when I had to sign a mobile phone plan for 2 years.  I was sweating as I held that pen.  My heart was beating fast.  A million ‘what if’ questions were running through my mind.  But I needed a phone, so I signed the dotted line.  (At least it wasn’t a husband that I needed).

Overall it was a surreal week getting back into the swing of life here; catching up with friends, running in the SUNSHINE, heading to the cinema, eating all the foods I used to eat (shapes- ahh I’ve missed you). It was the same but somehow different…

As for my phobia, who knows what will happen there.  Maybe I’ll find something worth committing to.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *